A magpie lands in front of your party, asking them for a trinket, and assuring you that there will be something in return. (2024)

Begone Daemon!!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

I roll to seduce.

My deputy marshal gives him a casing from his .308 rifle and wonders if a side effect of combat stims is hallucinations.

>Negi the tengu digs around and finds the red silk string he won from Ashmane.
>just a luxurious spool of red silk
"That leonine over there nearly snapped his head off for this, I hope you enjoy it"

Give her: https://demonssouls.fandom.com/wiki/Sticky_White_Stuff

I gift a confectioners treat from dwarven mines, rockcandy amulets after cresting the cavity trolls of silver cap plateau

>implying they haven't already taken their gifts while the party wasn't looking

[...]

>The magpie is dead. You don't get any trinkets.
...Frick
I rest than revivify

Woah wait up guys! We should be really CAWtious!

>Thief
"Well, I found this broken key in someone's pocket a little bit ago. Will that do?"

[...]

>The magpie is quite joyful about the little ephigy. In return, it brings you a small wetstone that seems to be unusually warm to the touch.
I test out the whetstone on one of my well-used arrows whose broadhead could do with a fresh sharpening.

[...]

>ephigy

a what now

Offer a fish scale. Not just any scale from any old fish, a particular big shiny scale plucked from Christmas dinner fish is bestowed with blessing of most holy night, its silver-like gleam attracts more wealth, a trinket to bring more trinkets.

[...]

A quill feather, why would I need tha-... Oh, I forgot my quill. Much obliged, fair corvid. Wildlife surveys are definitely easier if you have something to write with. This should make a high-quality one on top of that, much better than the one I forgot. Neater lines and a lot less blotting.

Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

[...]

Truly. We are our own worst enemies

[...]

>magpie eggshell
What a perfect answer. You're good at this.

Best thread on /tg/ right now since I am a bird guy. OP is heterosexual.

I give the magpie a small corvid statue carved from ivory as a token of my admiration of his people.

>PC 1:
Ended the campaign neck deep in alien conspiracy sh*t working to protect humankind. Deeply paranoid after assuming a top leadership position and surviving multiple assassinations.

Freaks the frick out at meeting a talking magpie and refuses a trinket until it explains who sent it.
>PC 2
Long, long, LONG campaign. Was a self-serving pragmatist villain until the last second of the final session, when everything he’d been through all clicked at once and suddenly he was a hero. Nonzero chance that it was divine intervention from a nicer Sheogorath. Currently ruling a bizarro benevolent dictatorship and doing lots of helpful but non-traditionally heroic things.

He assumes he’s been drugged (or took something for combat and forgot about it) because a magpie is talking to him. He hands the bird a scrap of paper officially deputizing it as an ambassador to all intelligent avians, wayward spirits, and sapient hallucinations.

[...]

>Gunfire
The magpie leaves. About half an hour later, you feel something splat on your head. Curiously, it seems to have fallen from nowhere.

>Fromunda Cheese
The magpie stays out of reach as you proffer the cracker. It takes the cracker in it's feet, flies off, and returns with a small tube of topical antiseptic.

>Vial of bathwater
The magpie seems to struggle a bit as it flies off. It returns shortly with a photograph of you offering the item, a receipt from the post office for disseminating many copies as mailers on contingency, a restraining order, with dissemination of said pictures as a consequence for violation of the restraining order, all rolled together in a scroll case, on the outside of which, is inscribed the equivalent of a Scroll of Longstrider. The spell inscribed on the scrollcase is consumed on use, but returns on the dawn of the next day.

>Alka Seltzer
The magpie shudders as the pill starts building pressure inside it. Your cold stare turns to horror as a stream of superpressurized water shoots from the magpie's beak. You suffer the effects of a Maximized Heightened Empowered Hydraulic Push spell.

>Tennis racket and shoe
The magpie flies off in alarm. It returns with a swarm of angry murder hornets, then flies off with your shoe.

[...]

Cntd
>Cast of Melf's Acid Arrow
The magpie marvels at the detail of your casting of the bolt resulting from a cast of Melf's Acid Arrow. It flies off with the tiny casting, and starts to fly erratically as the LSD you coated the casting in does it's work. The magpie catches up with you later, dropping off some moldy grains, and a base, similar to the one on which you set your casting on. On the top of the base is a plaque that simply says Ghost Sound. On the bottom is another plaque with an engraving reading "Thanks for the trip. Give this a rub and let yourself go.". When you follow the instructions, you're not sure what it's supposed to be, but it's quiet, and at the end mentions something about "Hope you enjoyed the Aasimar!"

>Pope's anal beads
The magpie accepts the offering. It returns with a small book titled "Rosaries for Dummies"

>Amyl Nitrate
Before you can open the capsule, the magpie swipes it from your hand, carrying it out of sight. It returns a few minutes later. In it's beak is another capsule. In it's feet is clasped a small, very finely printed book titled "The Devil's Cookbook: A Guide for the Discriminating Street Pharmacist". There is a ribbon bookmarking a page. On opening to the page, there is a picture of the capsule of amyl nitrate you offered, and a capsule of amyl nitrite. The page goes into great detail on how bad an idea it is to mix up the two. The magpie drops a capsule in your hand. You just now notice it isn't flapping it's wings to stay aloft. The magpie turns 360 and flies off.

>Used tampon/vibrator egg
The bird flies off, it returns with a receipt for disposal. No mention of the egg is made. Stop asking.

>Butane lighter
The magpie flies off with the lighter, then returns with an IOU. Ask a bird. I'll get to you. No questions asked. As you adventure, you can't help but notice how many farmers there are whose scarecrows keep getting burned down.